I'm a star in New York, I'm a star in LA...

I have spent the last week in holiday mode, which isn't good. In South America I found myself walking past restaurants because a meal was 50p cheaper up the road. Four weeks in the USA, whizzing around in a convertible with a CD player and fast food on every corner and I am now spending five dollars in a service station on coffee and snacks that I don't really need, or want. Quite bizarre when you consider that not too long ago I was haggling on a street corner in Guatemala with a shoeless old woman about her overpriced bananas... I guess the States will do that to you. I have also developed an unhealthy addiction to beef jerky... It's amazing how quickly you adapt to a culture when you are suddenly and completely exposed to it.

A major irony about this leg of the trip is how difficult things have been. In S andCentral America internet was ridiculously cheap and always available, calling home was a breeze and finding cheap and mostly clean accommodation was a doddle. Here I find myself struggling with overpriced phone cards, automated response telephone services ('to hear these instructions in English, press 1. To stab your eyes out with frustration because all you want to do is speak to a bloody human being, press 2) and retarded 17 year old customer services assistants called LaFwonda and Shanice. As for accommodation, well, I have stayed in some true horrors over the last two weeks. In Utah the only place for miles was a Bates Motel rip off where it was 110 degress with no aircon and I was attacked in the middle of the night by a swarm of beasties that got in under the two inch gap in the door. Couldn't get a room in Vegas as there was a huge convention on so ended up driving twenty miles out of the city at one in the morning and stayed at a place that clearly hadn't been refurbed since it opened in 1974. All tweed lampshades and orange plastic chairs. Actually I quite liked it there... And my personal favourite; the 'Encore Motel' in LA, whose banner proudly advertised them as having 'Hourly rates! Mirrored rooms! Free adult movies!' and which was conveniently located next to a 24 hour sex hypermarket with a twenty foot sign outside screaming 'Vaginas R Us!' Classy. After a thorough inspection of the sheets for any dubious stains I managed to catch about 45 minutes sleep...

So, a pretty adventurous couple of weeks what with canyon hiking, gambling and dodging hookers. Oh, also met up with Alison in Vegas for a few cheeky drinks and a good old gossip, which was fab. She delivered to me a new mobile (back up and running... 07974 312524) and also an iPod courtesy of the saintly Mr Battersby, fully loaded with 8,000 tracks (most of which is my CD collection). How did I ever live without it? I have named him Colin and he is truly the love of my life... I have decided to go back to New York for a spell after Canada, then back to Vancouver. Also going to take a road trip (in Idaho! How random?) with the two guys I met at Cedar Point, so won't be hitting Asia 'til I meet Denise in October. Well, what the hell is an itinerary for if you can't completely change it at huge cost?

Well must dash, got a plane to catch. Next stop Vancouver for some gin fuelled frolics with old friends and the wedding of a certain Miss Owen...

Hugs and loveliness to all

John xx