How bizarre life continues to be.
Picture the scene. It's July 1988. A 12-year old John tears home from school, throws his 'Dunlop' school bag (my family couldn't afford Adidas back then) on the kitchen floor and bolts for his bedroom, eager to get his daily fix of a little-known TV show called 'Neighbours'. A routine that was, I guess, a part of normal life for the vast majority of kids back then. After drinking his fill of Ramsey St. shenannigans on his 12" portable, he switches on the Alba stereo system (if there's no cash for Adidas, then there certainly isn't any cash for anything even approaching a quality sound system), eagerly rewinds last night's top 20 countdown on the tape player and, hairbrush in hand, proceeds to fling himself around his room, miming his little heart out to the latest hit du jour, a popular song by one of the 'Neighbours' cast. Now, young John's fondness for Kylie is no great secret, as attested by the countless 'Smash Hits!' posters that adorn his walls. It's a sad obession, in fact, that will follow him into adulthood. But it isn't Kylie that has a hold on John's heart (or stereo) this week. It's not 'I Should Be So Lucky' blasting from that poor excuse for a music centre. It's a shameful secret he can induldge in because his Aunt and Uncle are still at work and his classmates will never know... that, in fact, John is madly in (schoolboy) love with and is currently doing his best impersonation of...... Jason Donovan! He knows all the words to 'Too Many Broken Hearts' and by God, is he working it. You see, young John's developing mind knows that what he is doing (or feeling, for that matter) would not be socially acceptable, at least not for some years and probably not ever in Leyland, Lancashire. He doesn't know the word for the way he is, but he knows it's got to be kept quiet, at least for now. He's scribbled 'JB 4 JD' on his schoolbooks and then torn the page into twenty pieces in case anybody saw. He's kissed the back of his hand and had tingly thoughts about Scott Ramsey. He's seen Jason's album in the record shop but was afraid to buy it in case he got teased and bought 'Sinitta' instead because boys like girls and that's OK. He's scared and excited and ashamed.
Picture the scene. It's July 2006. Fully growed-up John (at least physically, if not mentally) sits in a giggly wine-haze on the sofa in an apartment 4,500 miles away whilst his 43-year old Canadian husband (also in a giggly wine haze) flings himself around the lounge doing a song-mime for his amusement. It seems Michael has stumbled across a CD of John's - 'The Best of Stock, Aitken and Waterman' - and despite never having experienced the whole 'Kylie/Jason/Neighbours' phenomenon and never having heard the track before today he has developed a deep love for a certain song. It has been on loop in the apartment for the last four hours and even though he hasn't grasped all the words Michael is doing his best sing-along to... 'Too Many Broken Hearts'.
It's bizarre and wonderful and makes me feel all warm and nostalgic. Anyone who's ever met me will know I have a fondness for reminiscing. I spend rather a lot of time visiting the past. And I can honestly say that if I had a time machine right now, and could only visit only one place, I'd set the dial for July 1998 and revisit that bedroom. I'd introduce myself to 12-year old me and I'd bend over and whisper in his ear.
I'd tell him it was all going to be alright.
