LAGUNA VISTA - A 24-STOREY HOTBED OF PASSION AND INTRIGUE!
Well, me and the old man are on the move. Again. As of 1st November, our new address will be:
806 Laguna Vista
2020 Haro Street
Vancouver BC
V6G 1J3
And although I look forward to packing and moving the same way I look forward to major dental surgery, I am actually pretty excited. In other words, I hate living in Gastown with a passion usually reserved for new Celine Dion material; I can't friggin' WAIT to move out. It's a pretty part of town, for sure; the streets are tree-lined and there's hanging baskets on every lamp-post, the buildings are funky and squeeky clean, the spectacular cruise ship terminal is just up the road, and Water Street is FULL of shops - unfortunately, all they sell is maple syrup fudge, cigars and 'Vancouver' snow-shakers. If you want a pint of milk or any other kind of grocery item, you have to hike 20 blocks across town. Aforementioned cruise ship terminal spews out a constant stream of huge-arsed, clueless Americans onto Water Street, and as for the Steam Clock.... sweet baby Jesus, the Steam Clock. The fucking STEAM CLOCK! The tourists LOVE it. They line the street patiently all day long to watch this quaint old clock fart out its merry tune. Then they leave. The lucky, LUCKY bastards. Us residents are subjected to this retarded, out of tune tooting every friggin' fifteen minutes of every single friggin' DAY. Imagine the insanity brought on by Chinese water torture. Multiply it by 100. Cube this figure. And you are not even CLOSE...
Anyway... it's back to the glorious West End for the Brittonfelds. This means countless shops and funky cafes, fabulous bars and restaurants, the ocean and park on the doorstep and a glittering new 2 bedroom apartment with balcony and unobstructed views across Lost Lagoon and the mountains. And those of you with even a passing sense of irony will note that the name of our new building sounds like a cheap and trashy American Soap opera...
It's got glitz. It's got glamour. It's got lipstick. it's got foot-long shoulder pads. It's got incest. It's got intrigue. It's got more lipstick.
Welcome... to LAGUNA VISTA!
Sundays 9pm (7 Central)
